...Continued

It has now been about two weeks since I've returned from Taiwan... and about an extra two weeks since my last post. Before leaving Taiwan, I had hoped to write another post concluding my stay there, and up until tonight, kept on putting it off until I didn't know what to write about anymore.

For the past couple of weeks, I would describe my life as very "blah": dull, empty, and lifeless. I realized my off and on struggles with various sins and prayed what seemed to be unfocused, lifeless prayers.

Tonight, I'm glad I was able to attend a monthly prayer meeting with other church members, full of testimonies, prayer, praise and worship. Prior to the start of the meeting, I thought of the following passage:

^"21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. ²² Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ ²³ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’" - Matthew 7

I thought about how scary it would be if on that day, Jesus were to say that He never knew me. I thought about my involvement in church ministry and other "religious" activities on the side, wondering if I was busy doing it all for nothing. And then I thought about my experiences in Taiwan. I remembered the lessons I had learned about trusting God and being excited about His presence in our lives, Jesus being the center of everything in our lives, and humbling and exposing myself to God who already knows everything about me. I remembered how much God revealed to me about His character, His love, and His grace.

The very last line of the passage stuck in my mind for a bit as we began to praise and worship God... what exactly did it mean by you who practice lawlessness? I let it slip in the back of my mind as I continued to worship and pray, gradually being filled with joy and peace that I hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity. Near the end of the worship time, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to open to 1 John (although I was a little doubtful because I've had this happen a few times only to think that it was a totally random passage). My first instinct was to go to 1 John 4 (probably because I knew it was about love, and a lot of the songs we sang to were about God's love), but I landed on 1 John 3 and decided to peruse it instead. This next passage stuck out to me:

^"4 Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. ⁵ And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. ⁶ Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him." - 1 John 3

...and then BAM, it all came together. In my head, I was like "OH WOW THIS IS SO COOL, IT'S LIKE SUPER RELEVANT TO THE PASSAGE I READ EARLIER". And then I thought about it's implications. Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness... whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him. This morning, I read about abiding in Christ in order to bear fruit and wondered what exactly it meant when it said "abide". If we are in Christ - and He in us - then sin should no longer be acceptable in our lives.

For so long, I struggled with lust, with pride, with anger, and all forms of self-control. For just as long, I had decided that it was "alright" to sin and that my flesh was just weak... I just had to repent and ask for God's forgiveness and believe that I was redeemed. Even though God sees us as His righteousness if we are in Christ, I still saw myself as a sinner - because I determined that it was just natural for me to sin while I was still in my fleshly body. However, if I abide in Christ and He in me, then sin ought to be eradicated from my life. If I continue to sin, then I do not truly know Him - I do not truly know that "He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin", and that He will not - and should not - accept anything short of my full submission to Him.

Sin should not be normal if we abide in Christ and He in us if we are truly living by the Spirit; it should not be something we deal with lightly just because "our flesh is weak".

^"For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." - Romans 8:13.

It's taken a trip to another country and a little over two months, but now I am beginning to understand what it really means to know God. Thank God for His grace!