...Continued

It has now been about two weeks since I've returned from Taiwan... and about an extra two weeks since my last post. Before leaving Taiwan, I had hoped to write another post concluding my stay there, and up until tonight, kept on putting it off until I didn't know what to write about anymore.

For the past couple of weeks, I would describe my life as very "blah": dull, empty, and lifeless. I realized my off and on struggles with various sins and prayed what seemed to be unfocused, lifeless prayers.

Tonight, I'm glad I was able to attend a monthly prayer meeting with other church members, full of testimonies, prayer, praise and worship. Prior to the start of the meeting, I thought of the following passage:

^"21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. ²² Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ ²³ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’" - Matthew 7

I thought about how scary it would be if on that day, Jesus were to say that He never knew me. I thought about my involvement in church ministry and other "religious" activities on the side, wondering if I was busy doing it all for nothing. And then I thought about my experiences in Taiwan. I remembered the lessons I had learned about trusting God and being excited about His presence in our lives, Jesus being the center of everything in our lives, and humbling and exposing myself to God who already knows everything about me. I remembered how much God revealed to me about His character, His love, and His grace.

The very last line of the passage stuck in my mind for a bit as we began to praise and worship God... what exactly did it mean by you who practice lawlessness? I let it slip in the back of my mind as I continued to worship and pray, gradually being filled with joy and peace that I hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity. Near the end of the worship time, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to open to 1 John (although I was a little doubtful because I've had this happen a few times only to think that it was a totally random passage). My first instinct was to go to 1 John 4 (probably because I knew it was about love, and a lot of the songs we sang to were about God's love), but I landed on 1 John 3 and decided to peruse it instead. This next passage stuck out to me:

^"4 Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness. ⁵ And you know that He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin. ⁶ Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him." - 1 John 3

...and then BAM, it all came together. In my head, I was like "OH WOW THIS IS SO COOL, IT'S LIKE SUPER RELEVANT TO THE PASSAGE I READ EARLIER". And then I thought about it's implications. Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness... whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him. This morning, I read about abiding in Christ in order to bear fruit and wondered what exactly it meant when it said "abide". If we are in Christ - and He in us - then sin should no longer be acceptable in our lives.

For so long, I struggled with lust, with pride, with anger, and all forms of self-control. For just as long, I had decided that it was "alright" to sin and that my flesh was just weak... I just had to repent and ask for God's forgiveness and believe that I was redeemed. Even though God sees us as His righteousness if we are in Christ, I still saw myself as a sinner - because I determined that it was just natural for me to sin while I was still in my fleshly body. However, if I abide in Christ and He in me, then sin ought to be eradicated from my life. If I continue to sin, then I do not truly know Him - I do not truly know that "He was manifested to take away our sins, and in Him there is no sin", and that He will not - and should not - accept anything short of my full submission to Him.

Sin should not be normal if we abide in Christ and He in us if we are truly living by the Spirit; it should not be something we deal with lightly just because "our flesh is weak".

^"For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." - Romans 8:13.

It's taken a trip to another country and a little over two months, but now I am beginning to understand what it really means to know God. Thank God for His grace!

好久不见！(Long time no see)

Hello again! It's been a long time since I've posted something on my blog now. Part of it was due to the fact that my laptop charger has been broken for a few weeks, but I think it's also been due to being lazy and spiritually unfocused.

God has blessed me a lot these past few weeks. Out of nowhere, I received news of a scholarship I received for this upcoming school year. After a stressful week or so, I finally have housing for this upcoming semester settled. My grades have been pretty good, and I have an interview scheduled after my return. I'm also thankful that I've been able to meet up with a lot of other believers here and there. Praise the Lord!

At the same time, I've had quite a few struggles and unfortunate things happen to me. As already mentioned, my laptop charger stopped working, so I haven't been able to keep up with everyone as easily or upload my pictures. Last weekend I lost my Taiwanese bank card - which turned out to be more of an inconvenience than anything because today I was finally able to withdraw most of my money (the rest of my stipend comes in next Monday!). Also last weekend, I woke up several times to new bug bites all over my body. In the midst of all this, I struggled with sin and with my relationship with God, finding it hard to focus on Him during my devotional time and in prayer.

Something that has been blessing me a lot the past two weeks was a message I heard two Sundays ago about different kinds of Psalms. In the midst of beautiful poems of praise and worship that sung of God's greatness were also terribly honest psalms of sorrow and anguish. Psalms that cried out to God as if He weren't there, ones where the psalmist seemed to empty out all of his despair before the Lord.

Reflecting on these kinds of songs really made me think back on my relationship with God. Was I really being honest about how things were when I talked to my friends, my family - to God? It's funny to think that I've tried to hide things from a God who sees and knows all, who directs my path wherever I go, and who knew me before I was born. Although I might mention my sin here and there in my prayers, I was never really willing to admit how hard it was for me to fight it, how badly I wanted to change, how much I really needed His help.

I find it relieving to read about the worries and desperate pleas for mercy of people we admire in the Bible. Living this life is not all about reaching standards or looking good in front of others. Those are secondary. They come along as we struggle with worries just as David did when his own son was trying to kill him. They come along as we struggle and repent from sins just as David did after his affair with Bathsheba. This life is not light and easy all the time, but we have a compassionate redeemer in Christ, who went through more pain and suffering than most people would ever see in a lifetime, all for the sake of His love for us.

As He hears my pleas for mercy and grace, I pray that He will not only intercede for me, but also strengthen and uphold me, that he would mold me into more and more into His image every day, so that when that blessed day arrives, I can stand with the rest of the body of Christ as a beautiful gift before an even more magnificent God.

Until next time,

Moses

Christ living within us!

God is continuing to do amazing things during my stay here in Taiwan! Since my last post, I've had the opportunity to share a bit about my faith with two other people... that's five people in the last week, which is probably more or less the same amount of people that I've shared my faith with during most of my life haha.

The crazy thing about it all is that none of it is self-initiated. And although I would love to see some improvement in myself in terms of my own active sharing of the gospel, it's also exciting and God-glorifying to see Him provide all these opportunities without my trying.

I found that one of the more prevalent reasons people asked me about my faith was because of my lifestyle. Aside from not going out clubbing or drinking with them, they mentioned that unlike most of the religious people they've met, I didn't seem to judge them for what they've done or who they are (which is all due to God's grace!). Wow! I had never realized how powerful of a testimony the very lives we live really were until I was placed in the midst of unbelievers for an extended period of time.

God calls us to be salt and light in the world - people who ought to stick out in the crowd. But the reason we stick out should not be because we wear the craziest clothes or have the most amazing talents. The reason we shine is because of the light that is within us - Christ who lives through us!

For a while, I felt like I did a lot of "preaching" without actively being engaged in the faith that I was sharing with others. Although I knew the words to say, I felt like they came out of my mouth lifeless - without any sense of zeal or passion. But I praise God for the opportunity He gave me to attend a worship concert this afternoon and into the evening led by an Indonesian group called True Worshipers. Placed in a setting of other believers, I was in one way or another, "forced" to worship our almighty God - away from all of the distractions and business I had gotten myself into all the while.

Through the praise and worship, I was actively reminded of how good and awesome our God is, and how Christ ought to be the center of our lives as Christians. The last song centered on these words... words of worship that brought hope, that led to surrender, and ended in joy. In the middle of the song, the worship leader spoke of how easy it is for Christ to become just another one of those things in our lives centered around ourselves. He spoke of how worship in church can easily turn into a karaoke session with all the words put up on a projector as we go through the motions week by week. But if Christ is truly the center of our lives, then worship is not something we take for granted; it's not something we do just for fun, just because everyone is doing it. Worship is a lifestyle we live as Christians centered around Christ who is the center, the target, and the very source of our worship!

Although I myself cannot guarantee that I will not lose focus of Christ one time or another in my life, I pray that He will continually remind me and you of the honor and worship He deserves to receive. May He be glorified in my life!

Below is a link to the video I took of the song (it was too big for blogger); I apologize in advance for my horrible voice and any shakiness!

Long time no blog

It's been a while since I have last posted something, but God has been doing some pretty awesome things during the past week.

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to share about my faith with one of my friends, and earlier tonight I got to do it again with some other friends. I've recently found these opportunities to be exciting, as they actively remind me of my faith and the hope that I have in Christ. While on Saturday, I talked more about my practical faith and how Christ's love has transformed and strengthened my walk of faith, this evening we shared more about our respective faiths and I was asked quite a few questions that I never put much thought into. In the midst of clutter thinking about how to answer some of their questions, I thought a bit about what really mattered.

There are things about this life that even Christians disagree about: abortion, gay marriage, who can go to heaven, etc. Although these things might have implications with regards to someone's decision to convert to Christianity - or to leave it - they should not be issues that cloud the amazing love God has for us or the call He has given us to be salt and light in the world by pouring out His love on those around us.

Additionally, God has provided me with an opportunity to help serve a church. After all the hub-bub over what Chinese class I would be placed in, I finally settled into a class that I at times feel is too easy (but at other times am thankful to be in). As always, God's plans are awesome, and I was able to meet a fellow Christian who left his "life" in Hawaii and took a step of faith to serve in Taiwan. After talking with him about how he served at his church here, he invited me to stop by one of their music practices where I was able to enjoy some fellowship with other believers in a time of prayer, praise and worship. Although I could not understand most of what they were saying due to language barriers, I felt a bit moved to help out with their music ministry. Please pray for me as I hope to be able to build up the body of Christ here in Taiwan!

I still have quite a ways to go, but hopefully by interacting more with this Chinese-speaking church, I will be better equipped to share the gospel in mandarin!

Fish Tacos, Mom!

Update: I have finally received my student ID card as well as an ATM card!

So for the past few days, the forecast in Taipei has been rain. It hasn't really rained much, so as I walked out into the morning light earlier today, I started to really question the aptitude of the meteorologists in here. Definitely the wrong way to do it. After lunch, I had the pleasure of running back to the hostel with my friend in the pouring rain. Needless to say, we arrived completely drenched. There was one good thing to note though. The one day I decided to wear sandals to school was the one day where my compromised tennis shoes would have failed to keep my feet dry!

Not much else happened today, although I had a nice pair of fish tacos for dinner with a serving of poutinized fries (that's how they described the process of the menu). Don't worry mom, pork isn't the only thing I'm eating here!

Until tomorrow,

Moses

Pig's Feet

Update: I went to the administration office again today to try to complete the registration process. They told me to come again tomorrow.

Afterwards, I went to class earlier than I had originally expected and got to talk to a few of the students. Although we were going over some familiar topics, there were a lot of words I hadn't encountered yet, so all in all, I think it's a good thing I got placed in this class.

After class, I went out to eat with some of my new classmates. Interestingly, we went to the same restaurant for lunch as I did with another group of students yesterday, but this time I was able to order something different. The students in the class were from all different places, and it was refreshing to be able to practice my chinese with them, rather than resorting to english as I had always done previously. Although it may not seem like a big deal, it was at this time where I was able to understand God's grace at work with a feeling of gratefulness.

Although I am the youngest in the class by about 4 years, I was able to interact well with the rest of the students, and was able to learn more things about at the school and in Taiwan.

In the afternoon I played basketball with a friend from school, and got crossed over by a younger kid multiple times. No big deal.

Tonight I went over to help clean up a church by doing some sweeping, Afterwards, I went to a restaurant nearby to try some pig knuckle/feet. Although it wasn't necessarily the best thing I've ever had, it was easier to swallow than I had originally expected. Although now, my fingers still smell like pig's feet. I don't know if I like that so much.

Overall, I had a very enjoyable day. Although things may not necessarily be going the way I would want them to with regards too registration, I pray that God has great things in store throughout this whole process. May He be glorified in the process!

-Moses

Learning

Today I was moved to a harder Chinese class full of new faces. Although they're currently going over a few things I have already learned, I do not want to delay my registration any further by deciding to move up to yet another class. Rather than trying to force things into my own direction, I feel like it would be more interesting and exciting to let God steer the course. I must say that I stubbornly wanted to take a harder class like some friends from school (thinking I'm at about the same level as them), but at the same time, I'm taking a class that I can comprehend and that goes over some foundational structures I could definitely use more practice with. At the same time, I feel like it's motivating me to work even harder and move on at a quicker pace - hopefully I don't get lazy over the rest of the summer!

The night before last, I was thinking about some of the things I have learned about myself and with regards to how things work around here. Because I couldn't fall asleep, I thought I would write down some of the random things going on in my head. Here are some of the things I've learned so far:

1. I need to take more care in being patient and listening to what people really have to say. In America, it was easy...er for me to be a little careless and to pay less attention to what people had to say. I could find some way to work around something I missed. However, ever since I've arrived in Taiwan, I found myself asking "甚麼? (what)" after almost every sentence someone speaks to me in Chinese. Absentmindedly, I find that I continue to embarrass myself in front for being so careless.

For example. Last week I stopped by a restaurant to order some food. I had set it in my mind that I would try to do everything in Chinese, and had planned out most of what I was going to say. Unfortunately, I got lost at whether I wanted a value meal or not. And then again when they asked whether I wanted something to drink. Later, they called a number for an order that definitely wasn't mine, but I went up anyways with a suave demeanor, only to come back in shame.

2. I have found myself repeatedly helpless with regards to understanding different things in Chinese. I am currently on day 3 of a registration process that still hasn't been completed, struggling with a different lady at a different table each visit, trying to muster up a sentence in Chinese that I can only hope makes sense.

Something I'm realizing more and more is that in order for me to understand all of these things, I need to better immerse myself in the culture. I have been conveniently finding other english speakers to speak english with, rather than trying harder to find patient chinese speakers who can force me to speak chinese.

3. I need to really take the time to study and learn more about the culture here. I have struggled a few times to find the light switches for bathrooms, only to find them outside the door rather than inside the bathrooms. Additionally, I have waited a few times for a sliding door, only to remember that I needed to press a button in order for it to open.

As I thought about these things that night, I realized how they also applied to the God's kingdom and my spiritual walk. In addition to listening carefully to others, I really need to take the time to listen to God as well. How can I hear where He wants to take me if I'm always absentmindedly thinking of random things in my mind? I need to immerse myself in kingdom lifestyle, rather than continually spending time with people who can draw me away from it. Lastly, I really need to spend more time in God's word. Knowing and digesting it, God's word ought to change the way I behave around others.

I hope God continues to do great things in and through my life. May I hold firmly to the grace found in Jesus Christ!

-Moses

Childlike faith

After a few hectic days in Taiwan, I spent the last two relaxing and doing some sightseeing around Taiwan. On Saturday, I spent the day at a beach in northern Taiwan with some friends both old and new. On our way there, I rode my first bus and taxi in Taiwan, both of which were significantly cheaper than in the US. Additional firsts were:

1. Seeing a "black" sand beach (it was more of a charcoal color, but still really cool)

2. Seeing and being in a brief sandstorm (it wasn't too big of a deal really)

3. Trying out surfing (sort of, but not really because there weren't too many great waves)

Today, I went to beautiful town in northeastern Taiwan called Jiufen. If you have watched the animated film, "Spirited Away", it's based on the town of Jiufen. While there, we stopped by what seemed to be a few dozen stalls and tasted all kinds of random things while casually taking pictures.

During the past few days, I really got to admire God's creation. Although I tried to take a lot of photos, they can't really do justice to the beauty of everything I was able to see today. To think that all creation is a reflection of God's beauty is truly something to think about. And to imagine that the God who created these beautiful landscapes detail by detail, would be so merciful and loving to send His Son to die for me is something I cannot comprehend.

Today I visited a local church with some new friends. Although it may not be one of the big famous churches in Taiwan, I was blessed by the fellowship I had there, and the grace God was able to show from its members. Additionally, I was really blessed by the sermon which spoke of Psalm 23. Although today was a little different because they had to show a video sermon from Francis Chan, its words spoke to me and everything I have gone through the past few days. In the sermon, Francis Chan quoted James 5:17, which mentions that Elijah was just a man just like you and me. Though he was just a man with faults like you and me, he was able to do amazing things through God's grace working in him. The sermon mentioned how sometimes we question different aspects of ourselves to the point where we may avoid the great plans God has for us. However, God created each of us differently for His own reasons; the same God who worked in Elijah is the same God who works in us. Although we may have our own deficiencies, our God is a shepherd who leads us through the valley of the shadow of death, so we don't have to fear anything. Our God is so great and mighty that we shouldn't tremble in the face of our enemies because He is with us!

There were so many things from this message that spoke to me, but one of things that hit home the most for me was about having childlike faith. This past week I've thought about things too much with my mind and have limited God in the process. Instead, I should be excited about walking side by my side with my God - especially through unfamiliar darkness - because I know and have read about how truly great and awesome He is, and that the same God who created the heavens and the earth is with me wherever I go.

May I remain and strong and courageous in the Lord and His mighty power!

Maturing

Things are beginning to smooth over now, as I have attended my first class (though I will be switched to a higher level next Monday). Luckily, I have the same teacher who seemed extremely friendly and amiable, so things are looking great!

Although I still haven't finished the registration process due to all the administrative stuff they have to go through as I finalize my class, things I have been worrying about for the past few days have increasingly been getting better.

As I thought about the lengthy process I went through to finalize my classes, I thought about the passage where Jesus ate at a Pharisee's house and told a parable about taking the lowest place at a table. In a sense, I was able to experience both ends of the parable. Coming in with a sense of being sufficiently awesome at Chinese, I was quickly humiliated by one of the teachers during an oral exam. Talking to all the people at the registration office, I continued to stumble with words, wondering why I couldn't think of the right words to say. After being thoroughly humiliated everywhere I went with my lackluster knowledge of Chinese, I finally trusted it all in God's hands, believing everything would work out. After the first half of my first Chinese class, the teacher took me aside to tell me that I should be placed into a higher class. A few hours later, I saw the teacher who metaphorically whipped my butt in Chinese and told her everything with confidence in every word. Surprised, but pleasantly happy for me, she wished me good luck... I think.

I am finding it increasingly interesting how God is causing me to depend and trust in Him. Like a child, I'm hating all of the pain and discipline I have to go through as He works in me, wishing to run around and do my own thing. But I pray that I will soon mature enough to the point where I can keep my eyes on Christ and walk willingly with Him like an adult.

Restless nights

At first, I thought it was really cool to be waken up by roosters in the countryside. Until I looked at my phone and noticed it was 3:30 in the morning. Yesterday I saw my first stray dog. It was kind of scary, but also kind of cool. So far, I've had quite an exciting time in Taiwan, led and sustained by the grace of God.

To leave where I left off, I had quite a restless night here on my arrival to Taiwan. Worrying about school and where I would live, I tossed and turned in my bed, trying to force myself to trust in God and just find some peace. Eventually, I turned on the light and read God's word and spent some time in prayer. At the time, I had missed two days of devotions because of the plane ride and other discrepancies in time. Luckily, God had saved two verses for me for just the right time, giving me comfort for just the right moment. The first one I read was about finding comfort in the shadow of God's wings. God had wanted to carry Israel under the shadow of His wings, but they refused. It was like a plea from Christ for me to seek Him that night. Finding peace in God's word, I sung a few songs of praise in my mind as I finally drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, I left to Taipei (that night I had actually went to Hsinchu because I had the wrong hostel in mind the night before). I thank God once again for taking care of me through a Buddhist family, who graciously took off a day of work to bring me around and help me take care of the administrative process. If not for God's grace, I would have taken the whole day to take a train to different parts of the city in order to get all the paperwork for my scholarship and class registration covered - not to mention figure out some way to find the right hostel I was supposed to stay at. Instead, I was taken out to breakfast and given a hearty lesson on loving others by two unbelieving souls, who were willing to wait patiently with me at each step of the process, just as God was waiting patiently for the night before to find rest in Him.

Yesterday I took some tests to find in what class I would be placed. Unfortunately, I did rather poorly on some tests where I was asked about a few things that we hadn't learned about, making me look rather unlearned in the process (I can't believe we still haven't learned about colors). By the way, does anyone reading know about the cash crops of Maryland, or about the major commodities bought by the state?

Although things didn't work out the way I had hoped in terms of classes, if the way things have been going are an indication of anything, it's the great grace that God has had for me, and that I pray He will continue to sustain me with. Right now, I'm about to be late for a meeting to decide my fate in terms of classes, so please pray that God places me in the right class.

In Christ,

Moses

Patiently working on trusting God

Hours sitting behind a crying baby on an airplane. Hours trying to connect to the internet at an airport. Finding out that I went to the wrong hostel and there wasn't any room for me there. And so began my journey to Taiwan.

At first, I was trying to keep my cool while things weren't working out too well - and it was working out alright. But eventually, the hours of sitting, waiting, and stressing out took a toll. But God is gracious, and He is faithful to carry things out in His own way. I am truly thankful that I was able to be picked up by such a loving family member of a friend, who was able to take me around with her family until we finally resorted to going back to her house... 1 and a half hours away. Although it didn't go the way I expected. Things still worked out in a sense - I don't have to pay rent for my first night! And although I still have to refind housing for the rest of my stay. I believe God will provide a way for me to continue here in a way that glorifies Him. Today has enough worries, how can worrying anymore about tomorrow help me out at all?

I have contacted someone and hopefully everything will work out in one way or another, but please if you are reading this, pray for me to find housing... again :D

In Christ,
Moses

P.S. sorry no pictures today because I am using someone else's laptop. Hopefully I can upload some tomorrow!

Inner thoughts

Wow! That's all I can say after the past few months of school and other various things happening in my life. "Wow" that I was able to spend less than $70 in textbooks this past semester and still maintain good grades. "Wow" that I went through my toughest semester of school thus far and was still able to serve faithfully in my church. "Wow" that I got a scholarship to study in Taiwan. "Wow" that my sister just got married. But most of all, WOW... that God sustained me and allowed me to grow throughout the whole process - that He allowed me to see things from another perspective.

Everything seems alright when things go the way you expect them to... the way you want them to. But when things get shaken up by sudden changes, there's nothing you can really do but adapt. I praise God that He has promised that all things will work together for the good of those who love Him. Because as things get hectic, we as believers can trust in an almighty God to have everything under control... especially when we don't.

I believe God is changing the way I see things in life. For years, I structured the future success of everything I planned around the present and past successes of the society around me. But as I learn to submit to God and His will, I must continue to remind myself that there are too many things in this life that I cannot control, and that I have to trust in my Heavenly Father to take care of things. This life I live is no longer mine to live, but for Christ to live through me.

I know my trip in Taiwan these two coming months - as well as wherever I go afterwards (most likely school again) - will not necessarily be easy. God may lead me down unfamiliar situations and stressful moments - on roads less traveled. But in a sense, I guess that's part of the adventure. And when you have a guide who sits outside of time itself, who sees all and knows all, and who is making sure everything will work out according to His plan, why would you bother worrying?

May God direct my path, and may I trust Him and be empowered by His grace.

-Moses